Former Ikoma Rina talks about bullying she endured during grade school and the hate comments she endured as center of Nogizaka46

Due to the novel coronavirus and schools closed for the year, school events postponed or canceled, and the number of suicides increasing for a third consecutive year in Japan, celebrities who are worried, hurt and have also suffered when they were younger, share their stories as part of the project “Kimi”, hoping to inspire people with their stories.

This article is a collaboration project between Yomiuri Shimbun and Yahoo! News due to the spread of the novel coronavirus and children affected by school closures and lack of school events and a shortened summer vacation.  The environment for children has changed.

For former Nogizaka46 Ikoma Rina (24), Ikoma talkeda bout how in the fifth grade, attending an elementary school in Akita  Prefecture, she was suddenly ignored by her friends.

She used to speak normally and then she lost her friends and started to live life alone.

When she went to school she would find her locker items scattered all over the floor twice.

She believes there was bullying but doesn’t remember the details because the past was so painful that she erased the memories of her elementary school days.

It was a time when she didn’t want to go to school but she did because she didn’t want to make her mother sad.  So, during her free time alone, she would go to the library and read fantasy novels and books and immerse herself in the world of books.

In junior high, she had two best friends that she could talk manga with but then they split up when she attended a different high school.

In high school, the class centered around the bright and energetic children, which she was not.  She was the person who felt that she was not energetic and just went home after class was over.

It was during her first year of high school, her father recommended her to audition for Nogizaka46.

Ikoma said she liked dancing and was learning since grade school and felt if she passed the audition, she would move to Tokyo, and she would have to attend the school.

Ikoma eventually passed the audition and became the center of Nogizaka46.

But she would receive hate comments on the Internet, “You are not suited to be a center”, “you’re ugly”, “you just got lucky”.

Ikoma said she wishes she didn’t see those hate comments, but everytime she looked, those words would felt like it stuck to her chest.  She didn’t know who was writing those online and whatever she did, those slandering comments will never disappear.

So, she figured it was just best to ignore those comments.

Although she didn’t become an idol so she could stand out, her responsibilities as the center and those slandering comments all came at her all at once and her body and mind were not in a good place.  Even now, the hateful comments haven’t stopped.  But now they don’t hurt as much.  That’s because she has her parents, staff and people who do support her and protect her.

Due to the spread of the novel coronavirus, she knows that schools have been closed for a long time.

Her jobs have also been canceled and she had to stay at home and worried about what to do if things continue to go on longer. But since she has had a lot of emotional experiences, she can’t help but to overthink.

Ikoma said that because she had endured bullying, she knows serious children can either think of ways to overcome the pain, while the other can think more of death.  But that’s why she wants people who feel that way to escape.  Discarding one’s life does not mean anything to the bully.  Please don’t waste your time on them.

When she left her hometown, joined Nogizaka46, she met a friend who told her to work hard.  Everyone has an opportunity in different environment and jobs.  School is not the only place to live.

Ikoma said a day will come when you are an adult and will feel that the things that were tough in your teens, were not as worrisome.

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